Anomaly Or Sadist ???

"Anomalies are the ones who stands out, either to get really famous or mad and in most of the cases both"

-Mohit Jain

                               Diwali festival of lights, let alone the lights at-least i should be able to enjoy the festival. But as-usual i found myself packed in my room with darkness encroaching me faster and faster with  every tick of the clock  (though i don't have a clock in my room) , few heart touching songs on my lappy completes my solitude and pushes it more towards loneliness  Apparently it seems there is lot of darkness which dwells in my heart or technically brain and i love to live in it.

                                 Its not like that i don't want to celebrate or smile and be happy like others around but simply i can't. This state of mines often reminds me of classical Chinese philosophical theory of Yin and Yang  every soul constitute of good and evil part which keeps the balance of this universe. But, as i think what it really intended to say is that you constitutes of black and white part not necessarily  good and evil but certainly opposite behavior and none knows which part can take over the other at which time and situations  And in my case this festivals are like time bombs triggering my black part exactly on there eve and then sit backs and enjoy my situation.

                                I know that i don't believe in GOD still i can't say that i am purely atheist  Yet i know the importance of festival and the reason why they were originally created. Basically most of the festivals were created to bring a new freshness and happiness in the society , to divert the mind of society from day today injustice and hardness done on them. So, that so called rulers and easily run the society and economy minimizing chances of mutiny. Then why this festival can't divert my mind instead vacuums me towards the
space filled with of my strange  thoughts which were born in darkness.

                               One can say i am anomaly to this society but again anomalies are the one who stands out to get really famous or mad and in most of the cases both. On another thought you can call me just a sadist who is bigot too. I was going to write more about this peculiar state of mine but then my food arrived and after eating the exotic dinner from coocon i found that i was just hungry and way to my happiness starts from my taste buds.